What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
