Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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