Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She bit a glass in half.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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