so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
There's always time for handjobs
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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