Me too!
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
