Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize