He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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