my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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