we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
