what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
