He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
hell yes lets make some ravioli
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
