Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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