3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
