Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
