This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
