so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
