Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
