Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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