Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
