Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
50% drunk capacity currently
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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