i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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