Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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