Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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