if you like me you must not know who I am
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize