How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
