That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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