Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
