I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I CAN MOONWALK!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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