its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
