so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
