I swear she didn't look like that last week.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
