We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
