don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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