So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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