Sry I called you an 8
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Randomize
