i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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