it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize