she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize