A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
