sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
