My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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