so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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