I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
