where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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