the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
