dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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