I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
