I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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