i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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