problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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