Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
why is half of my head shaved?
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