Farmville is her only friend.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
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Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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