i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize