We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
