I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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