Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
