He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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