eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize