new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
